At the Movies: Shrek the Third

There's only five minutes left in May so I thought I'd squeeze in one last post to help the count for the month. If you're looking for something to read with substance, this is not it. This is basically filler material. :D

Anyhoo...I saw a movie two weekends ago called Shrek the Third. It was pretty cool, you should go see it. How's that for a movie review? Not very good? Okay I'll expand on that a little I guess.

The good: The dream sequence. I won't tell you which part that is but I laughed my butt off. Seriously. It came right off. I had to crawl under my seat and peel it off the sticky movie theater floor. Good thing I always am near a supply of the handyman's secret weapon. Duct tape.

The bad: I'm sorry, I just don't appreciate cross dressing jokes, especially when I'm watching a movie with my young daughters. The wicked stepsisters are inappropriate humor for a movie that kids are watching, the voices are just...wrong. I'll never be able to look at Larry King the same way again. Less sexual deviants please, and more making fart bubbles in the bath. That's good stuff right there.

The ugly: It's Shrek. You go into the theater expecting lots of ugly. It's the ugly that makes the movie awesome. I know I can't be the only person who is tired of seeing movies starring perfect people with their perfect teeth and perfect hair, wearing their perfect clothes and driving their perfect cars...what was the movie I saw a few weeks ago, it had Toby Keith in it and the main actress was a single mom struggling to make ends meet who of course drove a shiny new Mustang and had perfect hair and nails...see what I'm talking about? It's not very realistic. Shrek the Third, even though it's all computer generated, speaks more to reality to me than most live action things coming out of Hollywood. Shrek helps me remember that reality isn't plastic surgery and airbrushed photos. Reality is having an itchy butt and getting baby puke on yourself.

At the Movies: Pirates of Caribbean: At World's End.

We are back (after a long hiatus), with another movie review. Once again I departed to take the sea with my trusty (and not so much backstabbers) mateys of the Lite Warrior House of the RAWS Society (yeah we like loooong titles). In our wet adventure we wintessed the conclusion of the saga (or at least until Disney's frozen head says soemthing) of the greatest pirate in the 7 seas ever: Capt. Jack Sparrow.

*Warning: Possible spoliers ahead*

Pirates 3 takes the story where the previous one (interesting fact: both movies were filmed at the same time in most of ths scenes) left: the surviving and guilty motley crew of the Black Pearl, helped by Capt. Barbossa and Tia Dalma, set on a mission to rescue Jack, since he is the key to save the pirate way of life from the greedy, blooded hands of Lord Cuttler Beckett who has no qualms in hanging kids or killing parents or using the Flying Dutchman as a nuke equivalent. But rescuing Jack is easier said than do and the movies has so many plot twist and backstabbing that you left wonder if all of this was a highly complicated ruse by Jack or just a massive bunch of coincidence, then again they are pirates and is Jack:

The Good: Capt. Jack Sparrow. He is the man that redefines the Cool Factor (tm) Scale. Only Batman is at that level than can freeze fire and use it as toothpick. he si back an more insane than ever. The scenes where he talks with himself can make alugh even rocks. And he still kick ass and gives you chills even if he is in the movie just for a half. He is the man, even in the last seconds of the movie. Heck even his rockstar dad makes an brief appearence that makes you wonder how that family can have such coolness in mere mortal genes. Other non-Jack good things are the bunch of plot twist that a clever spectator can deduce first, but are nicely explained later in the movie, the resolution of the Davy Jones plot, the massive backstabbing and the incredible last battle at the sea. And all the characters are redeemed while still being true to themselves and their wicked pirate ways. Finally, although many people didn't like it, I enjoyed how the movie expanded in the pirate lore of this particular universe. I think it makes it rich and complex, with a dash of magic to add flavor. Like any good classic pirate story.

The Bad: Will and Elizabeth stories take a long to be resolved, with some really cheesy scenes and you need to wait until after the credits to see an extra scene that ties the only loose end of the movie. That and the "Braveheart" speech of Elizabeth really taint an almost perfect comedy/action movie. If they decide to make a fourth movie I hope they focus only in Jack and introduce new characters (or use the ones that the prequel books already created). Dunno, Keira is pretty, but her character come across as pedantic in some scenes. Other bad thing is that the movie needs more Jack (even at risk of flash freezing the cinema). Finally, while you can see the first movie by itself, you really need to see 2 and 3 together to comprehend the full plot, is like is a movie in two installments.

The Fugly: nothing really, the movie delivers IMHO. At most the slurr in the speech that can difficult to understand some dialogues. Then again pirates are always drunk so...

The Veredict: The movie delivers, is a great entertaining one. I dunno if I would recommend to take little children to see it but is tame enough to please a wide variety of audience and keep the adults entretained. The fast pace can make you feel like you missed something, but the movie ties nicely with the previous one (just a suggestions, rent the DVD of the second movie before going to see this one, thatw ay you will have the plot fresh in mind). You have to see it or I will make you jump the board. Aye Aye Aye my mateys.

Songs you should hear

This is a new feature I will occasionally post on; Songs you should hear.

This instalment is a great song by Van Halen, “Light Up the Sky”

Light Up the Sky is on the second album from Van Halen which was titled Van Halen II.

It was used to open every show on the “II: World Vacation” Tour in 1979. Alex Van Halen wanted the song to be released as a single, but it never was. Too bad, it would have been a hit I’m sure.

The reason this song is so great is the fact that it is one of the songs that shows you the power of Van Halen. The guitar is top notch on Eddie’s part and Alex is right on his game with drums. Listen close for the base line, Michael Anthony proves why he is such a great base player, and of course Diamond Dave gives his all on the vocals. “LIGHT EM UP!”

Anger Management?

Well I have another theory.

Things have been going quite well for us as of late, we found a house, made a bid, it was accepted, and it looks like we will have no problem selling our house. (People have already been in to see it, and liked it quite well.)So this means things have been looking positive around here lately, which is good for a moody guy like me.

Then today our youngest son was riding his bike around the yard. Now I have told him several times not to ride between the two cars in the yard, one being our car, the other being my work car. As you may have guessed he did not head my words of wisdom today, and now the car I drive for work has a very noticeable scratch on the driver’s side.

I was very angry, I still am. I will have to explain what happened to my boss, I will offer to pay for the repair, it’s just the right thing to do. Of course being 7 years old my son had forgotten later in the day how upset I was, and seemed to forget the seriousness of the situation, as he curled up next to me with his head on my shoulder and asked "What are you doing daddy?"

So now comes my theory; If I stay angry (as is my nature) am I simply inviting more negativity into my household, will my “I’m angry and have a right to be!” attitude bring more “bad luck” if you will?

Should I simply take a page from my son’s book and let it go, not that he will not be punished, but deal with it and move along? It’s harder for me than it sounds. I tend to stew on things, stay angry “go into my cave” as someone once said.

So, am I looking or trouble? Or am I just a moody old shit?

Knock, Knock.

My kids were amusing themselves (and me) last week by telling knock knock jokes in the backseat of the minivan as we were driving around. This was a rare opportunity to observe jokes that go over the head of the person telling the joke.

It went something like this:

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Handsome"
"Handsome who?"
"Could you please give me some of that popcorn over there?"

"Knock Knock"
"Whose there?"
"Phillip"
"Phillip who?"
"Could you please pour some more juice in my cup?"

They were hooting and laughing over these jokes...I was too but for different reasons. It just goes to show that it is possible for someone to be an expert in a subject - to know all the right facts about something - and still not get it. Just a little something to remember next time you might feel intimidated by someone with a lot of book knowledge. I'll take common sense over "higher" education any day.

There Are Two Kinds of People in This World

I know what you're thinking. To make this statement is a gross over generalization. It is evidenced just by the makeup of our three contributors that there are at least three different kinds of people. But if you really think about it, it's true. Take anything, sauerkraut for instance. People either like it or dislike it. There aren't a lot of "undecideds." I'm finding this to be more true with other things as well.

As a philosopher once profoundly said, "There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't." I think it was Bill Murray in What About Bob? He said those words just slightly ahead of his time. In 1991 there may have still existed shades of grey. What wisdom and forsight he exhibited in predicting that less than two decades later, opinions about--everything--would become so polarized. In no U.S. presidential election since then has any candidate received more than 52% of the vote. We are divided smack down the middle.

People are for abortion or against it. You like the New York Yankees or you hate them. You are a Kobe Bryant fan or you can't stand him. You like the smell of gasoline or you think it stinks. You love to do Tae Bo or you think those people are on crack. Ever since John Kerry, it just is not cool to be on the fence. Oh, that reminds me of another one...you like flip flop sandals or you will never wear them.

Is it a sign of insecurity that people have to be so sure of themselves? Or maybe it is actually a sign of confidence? See what I did there? I took the middle ground. And by putting question marks at the end of my statements I ensured that I will never be held accountable for claiming either point of view. I am beginning to see the advantages of being wishy washy. If I keep this up, no one will ever be able to tell me I'm wrong ever again. And that's the most important thing in life is to never be wrong, or at least be able to claim that you were not totally wrong. Right? Or maybe it's not the most important thing but in the top ten of the list of important things. On the other hand, it could be completely unimportant. It depends. I guess.

I think I like this approach to thinking, or maybe not. It is good to stand firm on your convictions and I think everyone should be a little more mule headed, or maybe not, I don't know. What this world definitely doesn't need is more second-guessers and Monday morning quarterbacks...or maybe its exactly what we need. We need people who will make decisions and stand by them, or perhaps people willing to revisit the way things are done would be better, I'm not exactly sure what my opinion of that is. But one thing is for darn tootin'. (that's a phrase that originates from Canada...or maybe it was Minnesota) For darn tootin' sure, this blog post is a political commentary. Or maybe it is a morality commentary. Wait, it kind of reads like an excuse to go watch What About Bob? again. Maybe I should tag it as a movie review...

At the movies: Spidey #3

Last Friday I went to see Spiderman 3 with fellow comic book fans and friends form the Roleplaying and Wargaming Society of my University. My expectatives were mixed, as you know I'm not a Marvel fan, but on the other hand, I do like Spidey and as general comic book fan I want to see comic book based movies succed because that helps the comic industry.

As with the "300" movie I'm not going to go into a detailed review to don't spoil it for you... waht the heck I do need to revisit some key points to give this opinion so I should warn you that there will be spoilers ahead. I'm going to split in in three parts:

The Good: the music, the FX used in the Sandman and Venon, the fights and the general idea of how Peter got the black costume and how he got rid off it, without the burden that would be explaining the whole "Secret Wars" arc in a two and half hrs movie. I think it was a nicely done plot there. Another thing I liked was the new casting, as usual Sam Raimi got every single character pegged and perfectly matched. Bryce Howard as Gwen is identical (although I still think she could put a super Black Cat too). Topher Grace was a worry at the beggining, since in That 70's show he was so skinny. But I have to tip the proverbial hat to him, he IS Eddie Brock. Thomas Hayden Church really looks like the Sadman. He is usually a very capable actor that can express so much with just a look, well he did that this time to a new level. I really believed that he was regreting his past mistakes and I find easy to think that he can be redemeed.

The music was a nice blend of rock and soft lyrics and that is always welcomed in my book. Finally I enjoyed the twist that shows that the movie is his own realm not related totally to the comic: Spidey is loved by all the city. A frequent reader of Spidey knows that until he joined the Avengers, Spidey was seen by the citizens as a threat not better than the enemies he fought. But here in the movie, even with J.J. Jameson intervention, he is respected and seen as the hero he is, truth it got to his head but well he is not perfect. One fair point Oscar made was the overall theme of choices, to do the right or the wrong thing. Even Jameson showed his decent side by publishing an apology after the whole fake pictures scandal. Life is not only about great responsabilities but also about choices and the movie represents that very well.

As a last treat I enjoyed how the director offered a recap of the previous two movies by using them as part of the inital credits. It helps to get into the movie without annoying expositions.

The Bad: This movie suffers from the same illness that X3: too many stories to tell withouth depth or resolution. I would prefer to save Sandman story for another sequel, because it felt cramped with three villians, at least three arcs in one movie and you did't get a good character development for Eddie and Flint. Gwen Stacy, who ironically enough survived the movie while Venom no, was just there to be the candy eye (maybe just for me, because I'm not a bog fan of Kirsten Dunst as MJ) and the foil to the redhead that Joe "I hate comics but I make money with them" Quesada loathes. Also the scene at the dinner with emo-Parker and Gwen felt oddly familiar to the Mask. There are some minor plotholes (like the ending or the crane) but well, the movie can't be perfect.

The Fugly (otherwise known as Fucking Ugly): Emo-Parker. What the heck was that? It is bad enough to stand the way writers have treated Peter in the comcis as a massive case of schizo, dealing jokes when fighting the gusy that just screwed him and his family and is hard enough to deal with emos invading internet and the blogsphere, but get them glorified by making Peter one of them? That is plain lame and FUGLY!!! Just the haircut made me puke. But the dance in the streets ripping off John "Grease" Travolta stunt in "Fever on Saturday Night" is just so lame that it didn't make me laugh. Like Oscar told me, it screams D-O-R-K, not badass hero with a darkside. Couldn't they took a hint at SV where the usual goodie two shoes Clark gets really badass when infected by Red-K and unleashes his dark side? I know that Peter Parker was created to represent in some way the geeks that we are in highschool, but an emo? Sorry I can't get my mind around that. Do NOT do that again please, if there is a fourth movie. And I'm not going to mention the fanfic part of "Harry forces MJ to breaks Peter's heart", I'll just say that the writers must stay away from fanfics and the usual crappy teen-agst plot device who didn't even got solved at the end.

Bottomline, aside for the fugly part and the fact I was brief in the good, I liked a lot the movie, maybe just me, but I liked it more that Spidey #2, it felt better without the crappy teen-agst (tm) of the story of the second movie. I would rank this movie in the level of Superman Returns and X-Men 2, much, much better that the trainwreck of Wolvie and his friends and Halley named X3, but still a step below of Batman Begins and Spidey #1.

Help Wanted Wanted

Oscar the Grouch

808 Sesame Street
Benton City, WA 99320
(509) 555-5555

OBJECTIVE:
Seeking a position in the Communications field utilizing my experience and schooling:
EXPERIENCE:
Girl Scouts Mid-Columbia Council, Kennewick WA 2004-present
Communications Director
Publishing bi-monthly “e-memos” and e-mailing to approximately 4,000 subscribers
Designing, developing and maintaining the council website
Providing technical support to the Girl Scout council office and out based staff
Designing and producing informational pieces including flyers, brochures and PowerPoint Presentations
Internal Office Network Administration
Membership Database Administration (Data Entry and Producing Monthly Reports)
Installing and troubleshooting operating systems and production software
Maintenance and repair of workstations
DT Marshall Printing, Redmond WA 1996-2003
Press Operator
Proofreading print jobs to catch mistakes and avoid costly reprints
Using DPT technology to produce lithographic plates
EDUCATION:
Business Computer Training Institute, Everett WA 2003-2004
Integrated Computer Applications Certificate (MS Office Applications)
Advanced Information Systems Certificate (Web design, networks, and PC repair)
BCTI Student of the Month, August 2003
BCTI Directors List for better than 95% attendance and grades
Columbia Basin College, Pasco WA 1993-1995
Graphic Arts Major
SKILLS:
Proficient in the following software:
Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook and Access)
Adobe Photoshop and Acrobat Professional
Microsoft Publisher
Windows 2000, XP, and Vista
Microsoft FrontPage
Small Business Server 2003
Office and Administrative:
Organization skills, able to multi-task and stay on top of several assignments at once
Time management, able to work independently or with a team to complete projects on time
Presentation skills, able to write and design material that appeals to clients and public

The End of the World is Coming

If you believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God then this post might concern you. If you don't believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God then hopefully this might at least be something interesting to think about.

In Matthew 24, the disciples asked Jesus, "Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?" Jesus' reply is known as the Olivet Prophecy and included warnings of such things as wars, persecution, false prophets, famines, pestilence and earthquakes at various places around the world. In the 2000 years since Christ walked the earth, humanity has experienced all of these things to various degrees. At a first glance, Christ's response doesn't seem to be very specific.

It wouldn't be like God to not provide a good clue as to when the end of the age would come. Is it possible for us to know a more precise time to expect the return of Christ? Amos 3:7 states "Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but, he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets." Also read 1 Thessalonians 5:1-5. These scriptures show that most of the world will be caught by surprise at the return of Christ. But they also show that the LORD's "servants" or Paul's "brethren" will not be in the dark regarding the return of Christ. So keeping that in mind, take a look again at Matthew 24.

So wars and famines and earthquakes have been occurring for thousands of years. Are there any other clues in Matthew 24 that provide a more specific time frame? What about this? Matthew 24:21-22 - "For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be. And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake, those days shall be shortened." Whoa...this is talking about the extinction of mankind! If the time was not cut short, all life would perish!

None of the wars or famines or earthquakes that have happened in the past were of such a magnitude that would threaten all life on earth. But in July of 1945, a new invention was tested that would change all of that. In Alamagordo, New Mexico the first nuclear device was exploded. The Cold War accelerated nuclear proliferation until there existed enough nuclear bombs to destroy the whole world hundreds of times over. At some point in between 1945 and the end of the Cold War, it became possible for Matthew 24:21-22 to be fulfilled. Now take a look at another verse in Matthew 24...one that should send chills down your spine...

Matthew 24:33-34 - "So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors. Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled." The generation that existed at the time when global genocide became possible will not pass before all the things Christ spoke about regarding the "end of the age" come to fruition. I don't know exactly the year when our nuclear stockpiles became significant enough to destroy all life, but suppose it was even as late as 1970 (I think that is being overly generous). Someone born in 1970 would be 37 today. The current world average life expectancy is 67 years. So we have about 30 years before the generation born in 1970 begins to "pass".

It will happen in our lifetimes, when most of us are least expecting it. But YOU don't have to be caught off guard. How can you be prepared for the return of the Son of God? Luke 21 is a parallel account of the Olivet Prophecy. In verse 36 of Luke 21, Christ ended His prophecy with this statement: Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.