Doing My Part To Be "Green"

Today I single-handedly saved the environment. Well, okay that's a slight exaggeration of the facts, actually it took two hands. And like many of my proudest accomplishments, it took place in the bathroom.

Do you want to know what I did in the bathroom? (You're not sure, are you?) Well, I made a breakthrough in the area of hand drying. There has been much debate over whether using paper towels or a hot air dryer is the most "environmentally correct" method of drying your hands. I resolved this debate today while attempting to retrieve a towel from one of those motion sensing towel dispensers that worked even better than it's engineers could have imagined.

I waved my hand in front of the motion sensor. Nothing happened. The Force is NOT strong with this one. "This contraption is the worst of both worlds," I thought. "It uses electricity and leaves behind litter. What a crummy invention."

I tried to wave my hands again. Nothing happened. Do or do not. There is no try. "And it doesn't even work," I continued. "Technology is supposed to make our lives easier? If I could just pull the towel out myself, I'd be out of here already."

I waved my hands again. Nothing happened. I have a bad feeling about this. "Maybe this thing does save electricity, I don't think anyone plugged it in."

I waved my hands again. Nothing happened. I find your lack of towels disturbing. "This thing is bad for the environment and it is seriously doing bad things for my attitude."

I waved my hands again. FINALLY!! I was able to dry my hands. YAHOOOOO! You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home. No, no towel ever came out. It's just that all that hand waving evaporated every bit of moisture from my hands. No electricity, no waste, no litter, no nothing, just dry hands. I think Winged Lion would be proud. The ever climbing odometer on my carbon footprint was, for a few seconds, put on pause.

And then I went out into the parking lot and fired up my old Dodge, blew black smoke all over the place, and went home.